I used to make plans. I was planning on going to college when I turned 18, I made another plan for my 25thbirthday, and had others for my 30thand 40th. My entire life was planned out; I knew what I wanted to be, when, where and how. If my plans didn’t work out, I would get sad and frustrated; like if my personal worth was based upon the success of those plans. However, if I look back, most of my plans haven’t worked out the way they were supposed to and neither I have planned any of the best experiences of my life—they happened unexpectedly.
Coming to terms with the fact that I have no control over my life, caused me severe anxiety. According to Kevin DeYoung, anxiety is simply living out the future before it gets here; I’ve found many other definitions throughout the years, but this one is very accurate. In other words, anxiety is a reminder that you’ve stayed too far from your heart. Recently I started to make peace with the feeling of uncertainty and, as a consequence, my anxiety is almost gone. Here are some of the thoughts that have helped me throughout this process of personal growth:
–Don’t try to be perfect.
Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them. Failing is beautiful. This might sound a little odd but failing has made me a better person. Every time I failed; I expanded my limits. If you want to be successful, keep trying and failing and then do it all over again. Remember no one is judging yourself as harsh as you do. Set a goal, but every now and then, look around and give yourself credit for being brave enough to keep striving.
–Love and accept yourself.
This is the hardest one and I am still working on it. Something I learned recently is to stop hating every ounce of fat in my body. I don’t allow any type of self-sabotage anymore. In order to do that, the first step is to stop comparing yourself to others (social media can be very toxic). Remind yourself that all that glitters isn’t gold. The girl in the magazine doesn’t even look like the girl in the magazine. Don’t let society define happiness or beauty for you—have a voice.
–Trust life and be confident.
When I was a kid my parents told me, I could be anything I wanted; and I believed them. Believe in yourself will change your life. Time goes by quickly, so find out what your dreams are and challenge yourself. Life doesn’t work on your schedule, but you need to be prepared, because eventually things will work out. Trust life’s timing and remember that everything happens for a reason—it will bring you peace.
-Live in the now.
Every stage in life has pros and cons. When moving to the next stage don’t think about what you’re leaving behind; always look forward. Don’t dwell in the past. Focus on the good. Nothing lasts forever and if you waste your present, by living in the future or in the past, you’d be missing amazing experiences that will not come back. Embrace and make the most out of every stage of life.
-Be thankful.
This is one of the most powerful resources. Gratitude is life-changing. Every time something goes wrong in my life, I give thanks for all the other things that are going right. You can’t feel gratitude and be worried at the same time. Gratitude gives you more perspective and helps you to see the bigger picture. Make the difference between daily ups and downs and real problems; it reduces drama. Never take anything or anyone for granted; it might be gone tomorrow.
-Feel.
I’m very emotionally-driven which, for a long time, I thought was a bad thing—especially being a student-athlete. Since I was a teenager, I’ve been told I had to be strong and steady. We have the misconception that showing our feelings make us seem weak; when it’s actually the opposite. Allow yourself to feel blue but then, step into the daylight and let it go.
